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I handed two to my plucky daughter.“Ha!” She swiped them from my hand and swallowed them dry.The next day was Friday. With the fucking minors at school, I dialed Russ. “What did that quack give us, placebos?”“Maybe. BUT LET ME FINISH!” He cut me off before I could explode. “It’s a double blind study. You signed the papers. Did you read them?”“Maybe you think its funny, that instead of helping me lose weight, you’re making me gain it! Here’s something I guarantee will make you laugh, a new round of alimony mediation, now that you’ve got that swank genetics industry job.”“Okay! I get it.” Russ backpedaled. “I’ll call Blaine Harvey.”“Isn’t his name the other way around?”“Sometimes. I don’t know.” He hung up.My phone rang. “I’ve missed you, Miss Wet Plumkin.” Lana’s voice slunk into my ear.I had the worst idea. “Lana, sweetheart. How would you like to come to dinner?”“Only if I can cum after dinner.”“It’s a date.”I spent the day cleaning and then showering. My new weight quickly tired. “What are you doing?” he asked.“Getting comfortable,” she said.“I thought I wasn’t supposed to touch you.”“You’re not,” she said.“Oh,” he said helplessly as she burrowed her head into his shoulder. “I understand completely.” Sarcasm was heavy in his voice.“Good,” she said. One of her knees came up to lie on his thigh.It was quiet for a while.“Damn,” she said.“What?”“I forgot to turn off the light.”“Want me to get it?”“No,” she sighed. “I’m comfortable. I can sleep with it on. Can you?”“I guess so,” he said.“Okay.”It was quiet for a while longer.“Bobby?”“What?”“I love you.”“I love you too, Baby.”The wine got her to sleep, but it didn’t keep her asleep. She had strange and disturbing dreams. In one of them Bobby was wearing Melanie’s robe. His penis stuck out from between the front folds. In another she was chasing Bobby. He was naked, and kept yelling, “No! Suzie no!” In another Melanie was singing a cowboy song that included the phrase “Yippee I-O-Ki-Yay, ride along, little doggies,”.
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